Keeping a straight face

I sit there with a blank stare...chin resting on one palm.
I try to blink and see what's wrong with us.
It's hard to say goodbye when you know it's not yet the end of it.
But you have to since the other hand that held me is now waving goodbye.
I cannot imagine not seeing those eyes that stared at me and looked with love.
I knew it would come to this but the thought hid at the back of my mind for so long.
Denial comes in again, I bit my lip and continue to hope, to cross my fingers.
Will I ever feel you in my arms again? Will you be here when I need you once more?
The spaces between my fingers feel empty without yours filling it.
It's like the night sky without any stars at all...dark, mysterious, engulfing me in sadness.
I talk to myself silently, wondering when the shock will die down...when everything will sink in...and I start to cry.
Tears will be endlessly flowing, as I recall all the memories, the moments we have.
I do not want to pretend again, that everything's alright, that everything will be ok.